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Tagged by :iconvioletrogue: (:stare:)

1) Don't think, just share the love.
2) Each person has to share 10 facts about themselves.
3) Choose 10 people and put their icons in your journal. 
4) Go to their page and inform them that they have been tagged by you. 
5) Not something like "You are tagged if you read that".
6) You have to legitimately tag 10 people.
7) No tag-backs!!!!!
8) You can't say that you don't do tags. 

9) You MUST make a journal entry!

1. I'm a Christian.
2. I'm old and graduating this year.
3. My family has put all our Christmas decorations (except the tree) on display already.
4. I hate Halloween.
5. I'm wonderful at procrastinating.
6. I'm mad at the weather for being cold.
7. I have a hot tub to warm me up. :)
8. I need to find a dress for grad, and I haven't worn once since I was three or four.
9. I need to find a guy to be my escort for grad.  *cough*foreveralonehowamIgoingtofindaguy*cough*
10. Lookie there, you now know me nine facts better than you did before.

I taaaaag...

:iconahsoka626: :iconcheliseville: :icongale-oneofmany:
  :iconmangafanart184:  :iconneverstophaveingfun:  :iconrainbowvampirequeen:  :iconsincerelysuicidal:  :iconsupershadowhuntr95:  :iconwaffles-of-gondolyn:  :iconwintercabin:




  • Mood: Content
  • Reading: Out of My Mind

It's amazing the way God works.  I mean, I know most people would just take this as a normal thing that happens, but I feel like it's got a message in it for me, one I really needed.  So last night, well, more like this entire last week, I've been in this awful mood, shutting everyone out, being a jerk, feeling worthless, a waste of God's time etc.  I felt I didn't deserve Him, which, I really don't, but He loves me anyways, which was pretty impossible for me to fathom.  And still is, honestly.  But last night I was driving back from my church's Youth group (where I actually have two friends there, legit friends, in person :wow:), it's long since gone dark, there's like, a foot of snow/slush/ice on the road, which people haven't bothered to plow.  :grump:  I'm driving along, not even on a corner, going a ridiculous 40km since ya know, not really good driving conditions, and no one ever goes on this road, so I wasn't a danger being so slow, and the limit there's only 60km anyways.  So there's this, I wouldn't call it a cliff, but it's not a ditch either, it's like, a very sudden drop off quite a ways down on the right, that out of nowhere I'm suddenly heading straight for.  And ya know, I've never actually driven in winter before, so I have never actually practiced in a nice empty parking lot or something how to correct if the back end decides to do its own thing (dad never got around to it).  Yet a few corrections later, after being completely all over the place and oh so very close to that drop off, the car's back under control surprisingly quick/easy, and I kept driving like nothing had happened.  0.0  I know it was God's doing, there's no other way the car would have corrected so quickly and well, and I certainly wouldn't have been so utterly calm about it if it wasn't God protecting me.  (And my brother, he was with me.)  I mean, I was trying to fix things based off of what I read in a book, with no practice of any kind, no safety net for a first attempt at something like this.  After this last week of.... lots of stuff, suddenly having such a reminder that God is watching over me no matter what, it's refreshing.  So yeah, that happened.  Hope you're all having a good week. :heart:

  • Mood: Content
  • Reading: Shatter Me
     Grandpa says he will be relieved for her when she passes, because she'll be with Jesus while all she does here is suffer.  But the plants she placed throughout the house over the years are still there and healthy, because he still loves her.  Everyone says she loved gardening, digging her weathered hands in the black dirt, stains on her knees, planting and growing and preserving green life, changing through seasons but always staying strong under her care.  She always enjoyed being outside, as long as she was on her feet and dealing with her garden.  In the house, plants grow in corners on the floor, hanging from the ceiling, flourishing in every room, a green light against white walls and wood décor.

      I’m little - a few weeks old - soft skin and warm blankets enwrapping my body, yellow lights and cooing voices caressing my mind like a soft breeze.  I hear my Mother’s voice, gentle and surprised, but happy beside her husband with me in her arms.  She didn’t know she wanted children, but now she has me.  I watch with blue eyes as another Lady comes to me, amongst the many faces staring down at me, though this face has many wrinkles.  I am distracted for a moment as I stare at the fan on the ceiling, spinning round and round, never seeming to tire.  Then I hear the lady’s voice and my body shifts, mom is handing me to the lady, and the Lady takes me, a smile on her face and experience in her arms.  She’s done this before, she knows how to hold me, how to make me smile.  I squeal and reach for her face, I want her nose.

     Other memories lay scattered throughout the house too, pictures on the walls, on the shelves, in every room.  Porcelain dolls not chipped nor faded, hair brushed neat and golden, resting on little tables and coffee tables.  They still remain under Grandpa’s care too, separate remains of the woman she used to be, the Lady he asked to spend the rest of his life with.  Pictures of their youth, bright eyes wide smiles of new lives together hang on the wall, one is even drawn out by one of their Nieces.  She still has dark hair and dancing eyes.  The drawing is accurate and framed; the photograph next to it, both a show of who the past knew.

     My Aunt runs her finger through my hair as I sit in Grandpa’s house, though where Grandpa is I don’t know.  His wife stands in front of me and watches as her daughter – my Aunt – cuts my hair, humming a tune.  Feminine voices bounce back and forth as they chat away the time, the way the always do when my Aunt cuts my hair.  Mom doesn’t like doing it, but Aunty does, so when she visits Grandma she always volunteers to do my hair.  I like the way she does it, and I love listening to her and Grandma talking, usually about things I don’t understand yet.  I am still a child after all.

     A mechanical wheelchair sits abandoned outside, no longer needed, but not thrown away, in case she visits Grandpa.  That doesn’t happen very often anymore.  She doesn’t use it much anyways, she still says she’s fine, just like she always has, she’s strong, if you ignore the shaking hands and uncertain footsteps.  But he has it anyways, along with a regular wheelchair, because he doesn’t want to give up hope that someday she will ask to visit.  She doesn’t leave her new home much anymore, even though when we brought her there all she wanted to do was get out, come home, play with her plants and dust off her dolls.

     We’re side by side, though I’m still too short to reach up and help her cook, so I sit on the stool next to her, handing her the ingredients she asks for.  We’re making perhees, sacks of raspberry filling and crushed red, juicy and sweet, wrapped in dough dusted with sugar.  Some are rhubarb, some are strawberry, there are even some blueberry ones, but my favorites are always the raspberry delicacies.  They taste like heaven.  The oven chimes and she hurries to put the pastry in, knowing I can’t wait until I get to eat them, warm and fresh.  Her hands are shaking more, she burned her hand again.

     She really needs to use her wheelchair, but she is so stubborn, she still says she’s fine.  She tried to drive to our house the other day, but accidentally backed the van into her house.  They took her license away from her after that.  So she did start using her mechanized wheelchair more – so she could drive along our road to our house, we don’t live too far away from her.  That helps when we need to go help her.  She drove into the ditch, her chair couldn’t get out, Grandpa found her and brought her home, but she insisted on reaching our house, so he drove her here.  She complained the whole way, saying she should still be allowed to drive.  Grandpa tries to reason with her, because he doesn’t want to see her feeling wronged or upset, he loves her, all he’s trying to do is what is safest for her.

     I’ve been watching Grandma, she doesn’t walk much anymore; she knows she shouldn’t – most of the time.  I’m always reminding her to use her chair, don’t risk hurting herself.  She has bruises all along her side, she fell again.  She was trying to cook, but she forgot a cloth in the oven, she had used it so she wouldn’t burn her hand.  It lit on fire while she was baking.  She called us to help her put it out, then decided to do it herself.  She got the cloth out of the oven and put it out, then tried to walk downstairs and put it outside; she fell down the stairs, just before we got to her.  I walk in the front door and see her lying there, I wonder if anything was broken.  She tries to explain herself, I can’t understand.  I’m glad the others do.

     He visits her every day where she lives, it’s part of his routine.  He always walks back out a little sadder, seeing her as she is now.  She tells him that she feels bad, sometimes she even says that she wants to die, those are his bad days.  He huffs a lot and gets angry when she says that, but we all know it’s because he knows he can’t do anything to help.  She’s not the woman she used to be, her garden isn’t so green anymore, her dolls are dusty, and her hands are pale white not brown, no dirt on them anymore.  She doesn’t care about plants or porcelain or pictures anymore, she just builds her puzzle and stares at the TV, not seeming to care what is on.  He still visits her though, I don’t know what they talk about, but I know they talk, because he misses the woman she was, so he visits her every day, and makes sure the plants in the house at least are still watered.

     Me and my Brother are at her house again, cleaning for her.  She doesn’t walk much anymore, today she is just lying in bed.  We decided to visit her though, keep her company.  She asks if we could clean the house for a little, there are a few things bugging her.  I wash her windows and mop the floor, as my Brother vacuums the carpet and reorganizes things.  When we’re done we go to the kitchen and do the dishes for her, he washes and I dry.  I hear her voice calling to me, so I make my way to her bedroom, she has her shirt off and she’s lying face down.  She asks me to tell my Brother to put the dishes away himself, so I can massage her back.  I tell him and grab a lotion she always insists I use, she says it feels better for her back, and rub some onto my hands.  Her skin is warm but frail, so deteriorated from the skin of the lady who held me all those years ago when she met me for the first time, when my eyes were still blue.  They’re brown now; the blue belongs to the veins standing out on her back.

     He wheels her chair out of the house and across his yard, she doesn’t protest to the bumps of the gravel beneath the wheels, she doesn’t protest to being away from her new home, and when he sets her chair next to the fire we have burning outside for our family party, she doesn’t complain that it’s too hot.  Nor does she say it’s too cold.  She doesn’t speak now, and he’s not even sure she knows where she is, he’s not sure if she hears him speaking to her, he’s not sure of anything.  Except that the woman he married is gone.  Yet he still tries to help her and include her in everything, because he loves her, and hopes that something will bring back her smile.  He says she used to smile all the time, but we never see it anymore.  I only saw a few of them compared to him, she was already beginning to lose herself when I was born, but she still planted and she still loved children back then.  That’s why he agreed to have so many of his own with her when they were a young couple.  If he hadn’t loved her so much, they wouldn’t have had so many kids, and my Mom wouldn’t have been born.

     I grab another string of beads, this one red, hundreds of round surfaces sparkling.  As I wrap them around the tree I smile, I’ve always loved spending time before Christmas coming here and decorating the tree for Grandma.  She used to help us, ask us to put certain ornaments in certain places, we all had favorites that we wanted to be visible, not hidden on the back of the tree behind green plastic needles.  They are so unique, some hand made by Grandma herself, some old classics that she’s had for so many years.  I’ve never seen a tree with decorations like hers, they cry out Christmas, reflecting light and merry spirits as we all gather around it on Christmas Eve.  It’s tradition to spend that day at her house every other year, as many family members coming as possible, and that used to make her happy.  She’d smile, laugh, talk, serve wonderful food to us.  I look to the table where she is sitting.  I don’t think she even knows we’re here as we decorate the tree this year; her eyes are blank and blind.  She didn’t even reply when I said hello.

     Grandpa says he will be relieved for her when she passes, because she'll be with Jesus while all she does here is suffer.  But he kept the pictures of their past on his walls, he still keeps her porcelain figures, he waters her plants throughout the house, and he’s made sure at least the raspberries in her garden have survived.  No one uses them in perhees anymore though.  He’s kept so many little things that connected together and represented the woman she used to be.  The senior center has none of her trinkets, yet she doesn’t care to come home anymore, even when she remembers home.  She’s having a few strokes, she couldn’t swallow for days, her disease is reaching its end.  We don't know how long she has, but we all know it will not be long.  No walking, no  talking, no joy, Grandpa knows her end will be here soon, and he tries to tell us, and himself, that he will be happy for her when she is released from this pain and brought home to Jesus, but he’s kept all of the little things that show how much he still hangs onto her.
Never Fading Memories

Grandma is dying from Parkinson's disease, so I decided to write something.  The normal text is supposed to show her decline and the way Grandpa has handled it, her changes; it's his side of the story.  The italic parts are some of my memories of her, including the one where I was just born.  They're her side of the story, her decline, how she changed, at least by what I saw.  All of this is entirely true.  I'd appreciate prayers for her and Grandpa, that when she passes it will be without pain, and that he will find comfort.  She's strong, she's lasted longer than anyone thought she would, but everyone says it could be any time now.

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     I think one of the saddest things in this world is that so many people live their lives feeling worthless, unwanted, unloved, when that is never true.  In most cases people have family and/or friends that care about them, even in a person doesn't know it or feel like they do.  And even in the cases where no one on earth cares for someone, still there is someone who does care.  His name is Jesus.  Whether you believe in Him or not, He still loves you, because you are still His child.  And if someone loves you, doesn't that mean that you are valued, and if you're valued, doesn't that mean you aren't worthless?  And yet still so many feel alone, for all sorts of reasons.  Sometimes because the people around them are mean, or their family focuses on a sibling more, or their orphan, all sorts of reasons.  Sometimes people feel alone simply because they don't have God in their life, even if they don't think that God exists in the first place.  No matter why someone feels alone or worthless or anything else like that, the same things still apply to them.  They are loved, valuable, not alone and certainly not worthless or unwanted.  

     This is a verse that I have come to love more and more, partly because of the way I discovered it, and partly because of what it has to say.  And it's true for all of us.  "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty." (2Corinthians 6:18)  God matters, clearly, so if we are His children, then we must matter too. He made us in His image, He takes care of us, He died for us and He loves us.   Just like any good father, and He is certainly the best Father of all.

     "So God created man in his own image, in the image of god he created him; male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27)  God made little us in His glorious image, so surely we can't be worthless.  Hence He made us in His image.

     "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny?  Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.  And even the very hairs of your head are numbered.  So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-32)  I think that we can agree that a human life is more important than the life of a bird, or even many birds.  Yet God provides for them, and cares for them, so He does care for us all the more, and provides all we need.  Even if that is not how it feels.  And would you waste time or energy caring for a pet or child if they were of no value?  So why would God waste time on one of His children, if we did not matter.  He cares for us.  "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?" (Matthew 6:25-26)

     "The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again." (John 24:7)  "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John3:16)  He died for us and He loves us.  If he did not, why ever would Jesus sacrifice Himself for us, if He did not love us?  Clearly He did and does, because He died for everyone.  Whether you believe in Christ or not, He still died for YOU specifically.  He's just waiting for you to let Him in.

     Just another verse to show our complete worth and value;   "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?" (1Corinthians 6:19)  This verse is aimed more towards Christians, since we have the Holy Spirit in us.  And because we do, how could we say that we don't matter?  If the Holy Spirit dwells in us, doesn't that mean that we have to matter, or why would the Counselor, spend time with us, let alone in us.  "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name..." (John 14:26)

As for beauty, or value through beauty:

     "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1Peter 3:3-4)  Firstly, it clearly says that what you look like on the outside is not what matters, it's what's inside.  The person you are, the person you let yourself be when no one is looking, rather than the one you pretend to be, that is what matters.  Bigger than others, skinnier, taller or shorter, blonde, brown, redhead, stunningly beautiful or completely average, none of that matters.  And nothing exists below completely average; everyone is pretty in their own ways.  Secondly, it's none of that which matters, it's what's in your heart that does.  Are you kind, generous, patient?  Or do you cheat on your significant other, hurt others for fun, or steal?  Those are the more important questions.  No one is perfect, but we can do our best to avoid sin.  "Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1Peter 3:4)

     "But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.'" (Matthew 15:18)  Again this shows that it's what comes from inside that matters, not how you look on the outside.
There are many more verses I could refer to, and I shall, but for now I must wrap this up.  So I leave you with one final verse to ponder.  "A new command I give to you: Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another." (John 13:34)  God just told you that He loves you, and it's not the first time.  Read the Bible, let God speak to you more directly.  Chances are He will show you something that could change who you are.  For now I go, but I am praying for every one of you who read this, and I'll have more up soon if you wish to hear more.  Good day and God bless!
Our hearts
beat in time
as wind
cools our skin.
(we gain reason
to hold each other.)
Our eyes
close in joy
as sun
warms our lips.
(we kiss today
we lose love tomorrow.)
My heart
broke like glass
as rain
cleans my wounds.
(The broken shards
cut my hands.)
Glass Hearts Forget So Easy
Eh, not really sure what to make of this myself.  Guess that's what happens when I write during class.
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Tagged by :iconvioletrogue: (:stare:)

1) Don't think, just share the love.
2) Each person has to share 10 facts about themselves.
3) Choose 10 people and put their icons in your journal. 
4) Go to their page and inform them that they have been tagged by you. 
5) Not something like "You are tagged if you read that".
6) You have to legitimately tag 10 people.
7) No tag-backs!!!!!
8) You can't say that you don't do tags. 

9) You MUST make a journal entry!

1. I'm a Christian.
2. I'm old and graduating this year.
3. My family has put all our Christmas decorations (except the tree) on display already.
4. I hate Halloween.
5. I'm wonderful at procrastinating.
6. I'm mad at the weather for being cold.
7. I have a hot tub to warm me up. :)
8. I need to find a dress for grad, and I haven't worn once since I was three or four.
9. I need to find a guy to be my escort for grad.  *cough*foreveralonehowamIgoingtofindaguy*cough*
10. Lookie there, you now know me nine facts better than you did before.

I taaaaag...

:iconahsoka626: :iconcheliseville: :icongale-oneofmany:
  :iconmangafanart184:  :iconneverstophaveingfun:  :iconrainbowvampirequeen:  :iconsincerelysuicidal:  :iconsupershadowhuntr95:  :iconwaffles-of-gondolyn:  :iconwintercabin:




  • Mood: Content
  • Reading: Out of My Mind

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RueTris's Profile Picture
RueTris
June Weather
Artist | Student | Photography
Canada
^ That picture is really bad quality, sorry about that. But it's all you're getting, even just having that one is bad enough. xD I'm not really sure how it ended up bad in the first place, it looks fine on my computer.

Hello everyone! I'm a shy girl in person but I still love talking to people, so if you want to chat with me just feel free to message me. :D I have many chatrooms so if you want into one of them just tell me. I'm a born again Christian girl but I'll never judge any of you, for any reasons, and I won't try to shove my religion down your throats. My ears are always open if you want to talk to me about anything. :heart: I know what it's like to suffer, I've fought depression on and off my whole life, and I'm only just recovering from a two year fight with it, the hardest two years of my life. I've cut hundreds of time, and I've tried to kill myself, but I'm glad to say that I am happy and healthy (mostly) now. I have great friends on this here site, friends who have helped me with so much, I'm grateful to all of you! But my point is that I can try to understand whatever you all are going through, and I know there are lots of people who have it so much worse then I, but I want to do what I can to help all of you. :)

I'm a photographer, I take pictures of anything, nature, animals, people (though always covered, never nudity or anythingthing similar), and anything else random that catches my eye. I love reading, and lots of people tell me I read too much. But ah well, it's not harming me. ;) I also like drawing, though it's just a hobby, not a possible carreer the way photography is, or hopefully will be. I also love writing, I've got a lot of ideas bouncing around in my head, and I've started several novels, hopefully I'll be able to publish them someday. :D

I live in Canada with my parents and younger brother, I'm sort of the outcast of the family though, but I don't really mind. I don't really have friends in person, but like I said, plenty on this thingy called internet. :heart: I love Country music, Christian music, some Pop depending on the artist, and also some Classical music, like Lindsey Stirling. I don't watch much t.v, but when I do it's things like Corner Gas, Seinfeld, MASH, and Flashpoint. Anywho, to be more specific than just 'Canada', I live in British Columbia, in the country, outside of a small town. I have one rhodesian ridgeback named Zoe, she's adorable but quite evil, haha. And I have what, ten chickens? Used to be over seventy, but we can't keep all of them! :P

I'm 17, I have hazel eyes (though they seem to change a lot), dirty blond hair, I'm 5'7" and about 120 pounds. I used to be a great runner, with speed and stamina, but since I injured my leg (and it never healed right from bullies at school) I've only been a sprinter, no longer being able to run distances. I can still hike pretty well at least, especualy on the days where my leg doesn't always hurt, so I do that a lot. I love wolves and hawks, but I like all animals, even insects. Though I am terrified of bees, wasps and hornets.

Lets see.... I can't think of anything else to say, but congrats if you read through all of this! Feel free to ask me for requests, whether it's a photography requests, writing, drawing... I can't garuntee the quality, but I won't charge you for any requests. Though of course, if you do want to give me points I can use on friends or a premium membership, I won't say no. XD So that's me, later everyone and have a good day!

Do not use any of my artwork or writting without permission please. If you ask and I say yes than feel free to use them.

Put this on your
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Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in the trinity; God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
then copy and paste this in your profile
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."
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Heart-Luck Featured By Owner 1 hour ago  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for all those favourites :)
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Nogumie Featured By Owner 13 hours ago   Writer
Thank you for the fave! :hug:
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CoralJay Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for you know what ;) :la:
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RueTris Featured By Owner 22 hours ago  Student Photographer
Haha no problem
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bob60t Featured By Owner 6 days ago
Thanks for the fav!
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RueTris Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Student Photographer
No problem!
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Elmolein Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks again for the fave, Rue!:)
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RueTris Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Student Photographer
Welcome!  ^^
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miirex Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the fav
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RueTris Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014  Student Photographer
No problem.
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